I may not be a doctor but when I saw the diagnosis on my histopathy, I knew it was bad. Forget the with or without atypia phrase. There was none of that. Instead what was written in black and white was endocarcinoma. Anyone who has ever read up on diseases is aware what carcinoma means. Yep, the Big C.
I tried to make light of it when I finally sat down with my OB-Gyne. She did not want to unnecessarily panic me. There were cancer cells on my endometrium or the uterus lining. No question about it, I had to have a hysterectomy, PRONTO. Cancer is cancer, she said and the earlier it can be determined and treated, the better. She was optimistic, though, because the initial prognosis showed Grade I, and while this in no way determines what stage the cancer is at, (the hysterectomy will confirm it), it is most likely in the early stage. What she wants to know is if it has gone beyond the endometrium because this would require further treatment: either chemo or radiation, which I am not looking forward to.
In truth, I didn't know what to feel. I went to the doctor alone so except for her, there was no one to discuss it with. And with her, I couldn't be emotional, if I really wanted to. There was a brief moment when I wanted to break down and cry but somehow, I didn't. She immediately sent me to the HMO coordinator to check if there was a gynecologist-oncologist within the hospital who was accredited with the HMO, to perform the surgery. Fortunately, there was. But I missed him and will have to come in for consultation on Thursday yet.
My OB-Gyne wants the surgery set next week. The earlier, the better. It will be a 3 to 4 hour operation. My, my that will be a long nap. Five days, at least, in the hospital, two weeks to recover, 2 months to heal. The good news, if it could be called that, is that the HMO will likely shoulder all the expenses. That's why I needed an accredited doctor. I need to be prepped, and I need to prep my family and the people at work, especially the boss.
Am I scared? You betcha! I have to hang on to my doctor's word that all will be well. I don't want to be cut up again -- been there, done that. But there is no other way. Bottom line, I want to get better. Please pray for me.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Thursday, September 4, 2008
With or Without Atypia?
That is the question.
In 2005, an endometrial biopsy showed I had simple hyperplasia with atypia. That was also sometime in August of that year. Earlier in January, I had bled profusely and my hemoglobin count really dropped. The first OB-Gyne I saw did not really say what was possibly wrong, except that she prescribed hormonal pills to regulate my menstruation.
In August, my period had extended to almost two weeks and it was horrible because I was almost peeing blood. I was having difficulty breathing because there wasn't enough oxygen due to the blood loss. I had to go to the emergency room of a hospital. I was discharged but a day or two later, I did collapse and had to be rushed back to the hospital.
My new OB-Gyne decided to do a D & C with biopsy to determine what was really wrong with me. The result: Simple hyperplasia with atypia.
Hyperplasia is simply a thickening of the uterine lining. That's why the blooding would not stop. Normally, this can be treated with hormone therapy. What aggravated it was the phrase "with atypia." Atypia is a cell abnormality, and most likely pre-cancerous. I was out on hormonal therapy and for the next two years, my period was regulated.
Until April this year when I noticed my menstruation became irregular. I would bleed for one or two days, giving me the impression I was having my period. But this would stop abruptly. Then I would menstruate a few weeks later like nothing was wrong. Finally, I went for a check-up and doctor decided I needed another endometrial biopsy to see if my condition remained the same.
She'd given me an overview: If it ends up I only have simple hyperplasia without atypia, I would be on therapy. But if it is with atypia, she wants to have a hysterectomy. Unless I plan on having a baby, she does not want to risk my having cancer because of it. Besides, I could end up bleeding like crazy again, in which case it would be better to have it removed.
I'll know the results on Monday and I do hope things won't be as bad.
In 2005, an endometrial biopsy showed I had simple hyperplasia with atypia. That was also sometime in August of that year. Earlier in January, I had bled profusely and my hemoglobin count really dropped. The first OB-Gyne I saw did not really say what was possibly wrong, except that she prescribed hormonal pills to regulate my menstruation.
In August, my period had extended to almost two weeks and it was horrible because I was almost peeing blood. I was having difficulty breathing because there wasn't enough oxygen due to the blood loss. I had to go to the emergency room of a hospital. I was discharged but a day or two later, I did collapse and had to be rushed back to the hospital.
My new OB-Gyne decided to do a D & C with biopsy to determine what was really wrong with me. The result: Simple hyperplasia with atypia.
Hyperplasia is simply a thickening of the uterine lining. That's why the blooding would not stop. Normally, this can be treated with hormone therapy. What aggravated it was the phrase "with atypia." Atypia is a cell abnormality, and most likely pre-cancerous. I was out on hormonal therapy and for the next two years, my period was regulated.
Until April this year when I noticed my menstruation became irregular. I would bleed for one or two days, giving me the impression I was having my period. But this would stop abruptly. Then I would menstruate a few weeks later like nothing was wrong. Finally, I went for a check-up and doctor decided I needed another endometrial biopsy to see if my condition remained the same.
She'd given me an overview: If it ends up I only have simple hyperplasia without atypia, I would be on therapy. But if it is with atypia, she wants to have a hysterectomy. Unless I plan on having a baby, she does not want to risk my having cancer because of it. Besides, I could end up bleeding like crazy again, in which case it would be better to have it removed.
I'll know the results on Monday and I do hope things won't be as bad.
Two days at the hospital
This is a rather belated post. A week late, actually. But I want to remember a very recent experience, which in fact, will be continuing depending on the results of my biopsy.
Anyway, most of last week I spent going to the hospital for my blood tests in preparation for a minor procedure. I needed ECG and X-ray, too, for clearance. I opted to go to the National Kidney and Transplant Institute because it was close to home and I figured the facilities would be state-of-the-art. And this was one facility where my health card could be used so I didn't have to pay for the tests. It did cost quite a bit. Well, the NKTI did not disappoint. In fact, I liked it there, as much as I'm going to like hospitals.
Results for the blood tests were released the following day and I thought the ECG and X-ray, too. I was wrong. The last two only came two days after, or the day my OB-GYNE had advised me to be admitted to the hospital. The procedure would have to be done in another facility, where the doctor was an associate.
By 10 am, I had the results and stopped by the doctor to say there were no available rooms yet when I checked. She insisted I have myself admitted after lunch, and they would have a room available by then. I was at the hospital by 2 pm, and an hour after, was temporarily admitted to a semi-private room. There was another patient before me, but who was scheduled to leave that evening.
I have to hand it to my HMO (MedServ). They were very thorough. My procedure (endometrial cuttering) was scheduled for 8 am the following day. The people from MedServ were in and out of the room, interviewing me endlessly (asking the same questions actually), just to cover all the bases, I guess. Fortunately, my doctor was accredited with them so I didn't have to worry about her professional fee.
The hospital is probably three-star (ha-ha!) The ER staff (I was asked to proceed there for admission) was basically efficient and it helped that when I came in, there weren't many cases being attended to. The semi-private room is quite spacious, but I really hated it that hospital gowns were not automatically provided for. We must have requested for it five or six times before I was finally given one. I also noticed there were no curtains on my side of the room, for privacy. But it's a plus they provided a "tabo" (small water holder) in the bathroom and there was a shower curtain to minimize the splatter. It was also disturbing because some construction was ongoing just outside the window.
The HMO medical coordinator wanted to be safe considering my history of hyperthyroidism and wanted to run tests before clearing me finally for the procedure. But it was Friday and there was no testing of that sort for that day. Anyway, I was cleared...
While it may have been a "routine procedure" and minor at that, I still felt nervous especially because it would still require anaesthesia. By my count, this is probably the 5th or 6th time I had to be injected with it. No wonder, I become so forgetful at times.
Prayers helped a lot to keep me strong. It wasn't like my first D and C procedure in 2005 when I was bleeding profusely and required transfusion, so I wasn't as jittery. The resident goofed the first time he stuck the IV needle on my left hand. It was painful. So I had to have it stuck on my right, which was inconvenient because I am right-handed.
By 7 am, I was being prepped and the first anaesthesia was stuck on my right arm. That hurt, too, but I was very, very drowsy. Until the doctor came in, I was still semi-conscious but drifting off. The procedure wasn't supposed to take long, but when I finally woke up at the recovery room, it was almost noon. That was a long, long sleep.
Now, the waiting begins...
Anyway, most of last week I spent going to the hospital for my blood tests in preparation for a minor procedure. I needed ECG and X-ray, too, for clearance. I opted to go to the National Kidney and Transplant Institute because it was close to home and I figured the facilities would be state-of-the-art. And this was one facility where my health card could be used so I didn't have to pay for the tests. It did cost quite a bit. Well, the NKTI did not disappoint. In fact, I liked it there, as much as I'm going to like hospitals.
Results for the blood tests were released the following day and I thought the ECG and X-ray, too. I was wrong. The last two only came two days after, or the day my OB-GYNE had advised me to be admitted to the hospital. The procedure would have to be done in another facility, where the doctor was an associate.
By 10 am, I had the results and stopped by the doctor to say there were no available rooms yet when I checked. She insisted I have myself admitted after lunch, and they would have a room available by then. I was at the hospital by 2 pm, and an hour after, was temporarily admitted to a semi-private room. There was another patient before me, but who was scheduled to leave that evening.
I have to hand it to my HMO (MedServ). They were very thorough. My procedure (endometrial cuttering) was scheduled for 8 am the following day. The people from MedServ were in and out of the room, interviewing me endlessly (asking the same questions actually), just to cover all the bases, I guess. Fortunately, my doctor was accredited with them so I didn't have to worry about her professional fee.
The hospital is probably three-star (ha-ha!) The ER staff (I was asked to proceed there for admission) was basically efficient and it helped that when I came in, there weren't many cases being attended to. The semi-private room is quite spacious, but I really hated it that hospital gowns were not automatically provided for. We must have requested for it five or six times before I was finally given one. I also noticed there were no curtains on my side of the room, for privacy. But it's a plus they provided a "tabo" (small water holder) in the bathroom and there was a shower curtain to minimize the splatter. It was also disturbing because some construction was ongoing just outside the window.
The HMO medical coordinator wanted to be safe considering my history of hyperthyroidism and wanted to run tests before clearing me finally for the procedure. But it was Friday and there was no testing of that sort for that day. Anyway, I was cleared...
While it may have been a "routine procedure" and minor at that, I still felt nervous especially because it would still require anaesthesia. By my count, this is probably the 5th or 6th time I had to be injected with it. No wonder, I become so forgetful at times.
Prayers helped a lot to keep me strong. It wasn't like my first D and C procedure in 2005 when I was bleeding profusely and required transfusion, so I wasn't as jittery. The resident goofed the first time he stuck the IV needle on my left hand. It was painful. So I had to have it stuck on my right, which was inconvenient because I am right-handed.
By 7 am, I was being prepped and the first anaesthesia was stuck on my right arm. That hurt, too, but I was very, very drowsy. Until the doctor came in, I was still semi-conscious but drifting off. The procedure wasn't supposed to take long, but when I finally woke up at the recovery room, it was almost noon. That was a long, long sleep.
Now, the waiting begins...
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Iron and Folic Acid
My doctor has had to induce my menstruation by prescribing progesterone pills. This after ultrasound results showed a thick lining on my ovary as a result of the irregular periods I’ve had in the past two or three months. She said that after taking the pills for 5 days, the menstruation should come within the next two weeks and warned that the first day I was to expect very heavy bleeding.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Losing out on zzzz's
I'm trying to figure out why in the last several weeks I've had trouble sleeping early. I do know that sometime in the past, this has already happened to me. I can't quite remember what triggered it the first time and why it seems to be happening again now.
So I read up on insomnia. Because it's useless to deny that I am part insomniac. I can't sleep earlier than 1 am, sometimes even when I'm dead tired. Often I finally shut off much later than 1 am.
Could be hormones. My menstrual cycle has been a cause of some worry because it's not as regular as it should be. At the time I expect my monthly period, it'll start but not run the full course, which is usually 5 days. Well, it says that hormones, especially when it precedes the menstrual period might cause insomnia. So that's something to consider.
Stress. I've been under a lot of it in the last couple of weeks. Even during times when I thought my life was stress-free it probably wasn't. But there have been a lot of things to worry about in the past couple of months (and I have the white hairs to prove it!) so it must be contributing to the restlessness I feel, which results in my not getting sleep when I need it.
Or it could be that my mind and imagination, prone to over-activity, is acting up. It refuses to shut down even when I am so tired, ergo, I can't sleep. I can't even set my alarm for some early morning appointment because I usually end up waking every hour waiting for the alarm to sound off!
And finally, there is the internet which keeps me so hooked that it must be raising my mental alertness more than necessary, preventing me from resting for the day.
I need to work out a plan to combat this disorder, because having a history of anemia, insomnia is definitely not good for me.
So I read up on insomnia. Because it's useless to deny that I am part insomniac. I can't sleep earlier than 1 am, sometimes even when I'm dead tired. Often I finally shut off much later than 1 am.
Could be hormones. My menstrual cycle has been a cause of some worry because it's not as regular as it should be. At the time I expect my monthly period, it'll start but not run the full course, which is usually 5 days. Well, it says that hormones, especially when it precedes the menstrual period might cause insomnia. So that's something to consider.
Stress. I've been under a lot of it in the last couple of weeks. Even during times when I thought my life was stress-free it probably wasn't. But there have been a lot of things to worry about in the past couple of months (and I have the white hairs to prove it!) so it must be contributing to the restlessness I feel, which results in my not getting sleep when I need it.
Or it could be that my mind and imagination, prone to over-activity, is acting up. It refuses to shut down even when I am so tired, ergo, I can't sleep. I can't even set my alarm for some early morning appointment because I usually end up waking every hour waiting for the alarm to sound off!
And finally, there is the internet which keeps me so hooked that it must be raising my mental alertness more than necessary, preventing me from resting for the day.
I need to work out a plan to combat this disorder, because having a history of anemia, insomnia is definitely not good for me.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
The Secret Revealed - The Magic of Creative Visualisation
Do you think you have tried it all, but without success appearing in your life? Of course you have.
Do you lament that you have
With all these thoughts circulating around in your mind, you still have that part, however small, that believes this stuff must surely work. There has to be some truth in the fact that positive thinking must work, as it has supposedly worked for many others.
You have read about or heard how actors, athletes, performers and numerous prominent people today have been successful and so many wealthy people in today's society have got where they are through using these principles. There are people who now enjoy successful, happy and abundant lives in all areas including relationships, careers, health and wealth.
Although you have searched for the secret, it has continually eluded you.
The fact is that the secret to their success is in the power of visualisation. Yes, a simple process of creative visualisation which activates your subconscious mind to provoke creative ideas and images allowing you to turn your desires into reality. The powerful concept of the law of attraction will indeed work as long as you believe, desire and make the choice to accept positive change in your life.
Have you tried to perform visualisations only to have your mind wander, feel you are wasting your time, that you should be spending your time doing some chores or simply given up because it all seemed too hard?
If your answer is yes, then read on to discover how easy it really is to transform your life with the magic of creative visualisations.
The secret to successful creative visualisations is to combine them with light hypnotherapy techniques to allow you to sink into a state of relaxation, known as the Alpha state. This is the level of relaxation where your subconscious mind is able to release all the negative thoughts or states that you no longer want in your life, and can then absorb all that you wish to create, allowing you to begin manifesting all that your heart desires.
Imagine all your desires becoming reality. What do you desire? A boost in your self esteem, a new partner, a healthy relationship, a slimmer and healthier body, a new home, a new car, a larger bank balance or even an overseas holiday? The list could be endless. Understand that as quoted by W. Clement Stone, "Whatever the mind of man can conceive, it can achieve".
In this case, I will alter the quote to state "Whatever the mind of a woman can conceive, it can achieve", and I know for a fact that a woman's mind can conceive endlessly.
However, vital to your success is the need to conceive and picture the images desired. Images in the now moment, know what you would see, hear and feel once your dreams have been achieved. Guided creative visualisations will allow your unconscious mind to stay focused on your created images and hear the positive suggested messages throughout.
Short visualisations of approximately twenty to thirty minutes duration allow your mind and body to relax whilst instilling positive suggestions into your unconscious mind. Repeated listening to these will have you discovering that your life begins making the necessary changes to manifest the results you desire.
By spending twenty minutes each day or so, you can have the life you desire. You can feel confident, successful, see your dreams come alive and hear the cheers of congratulations inside your head as you accomplish what you have always wanted.
The magic of guided creative visualisations are the hidden secret to manifesting your inner dreams and desires.
Do you lament that you have
- read all the self improvement books but still want more
- continually spoken affirmations without progress
- set your goals and tried to follow them but soon deviated on a different path
- tried to change your thoughts into positive ones only to have the negative thoughts creep back in?
With all these thoughts circulating around in your mind, you still have that part, however small, that believes this stuff must surely work. There has to be some truth in the fact that positive thinking must work, as it has supposedly worked for many others.
You have read about or heard how actors, athletes, performers and numerous prominent people today have been successful and so many wealthy people in today's society have got where they are through using these principles. There are people who now enjoy successful, happy and abundant lives in all areas including relationships, careers, health and wealth.
Although you have searched for the secret, it has continually eluded you.
The fact is that the secret to their success is in the power of visualisation. Yes, a simple process of creative visualisation which activates your subconscious mind to provoke creative ideas and images allowing you to turn your desires into reality. The powerful concept of the law of attraction will indeed work as long as you believe, desire and make the choice to accept positive change in your life.
Have you tried to perform visualisations only to have your mind wander, feel you are wasting your time, that you should be spending your time doing some chores or simply given up because it all seemed too hard?
If your answer is yes, then read on to discover how easy it really is to transform your life with the magic of creative visualisations.
The secret to successful creative visualisations is to combine them with light hypnotherapy techniques to allow you to sink into a state of relaxation, known as the Alpha state. This is the level of relaxation where your subconscious mind is able to release all the negative thoughts or states that you no longer want in your life, and can then absorb all that you wish to create, allowing you to begin manifesting all that your heart desires.
Imagine all your desires becoming reality. What do you desire? A boost in your self esteem, a new partner, a healthy relationship, a slimmer and healthier body, a new home, a new car, a larger bank balance or even an overseas holiday? The list could be endless. Understand that as quoted by W. Clement Stone, "Whatever the mind of man can conceive, it can achieve".
In this case, I will alter the quote to state "Whatever the mind of a woman can conceive, it can achieve", and I know for a fact that a woman's mind can conceive endlessly.
However, vital to your success is the need to conceive and picture the images desired. Images in the now moment, know what you would see, hear and feel once your dreams have been achieved. Guided creative visualisations will allow your unconscious mind to stay focused on your created images and hear the positive suggested messages throughout.
Short visualisations of approximately twenty to thirty minutes duration allow your mind and body to relax whilst instilling positive suggestions into your unconscious mind. Repeated listening to these will have you discovering that your life begins making the necessary changes to manifest the results you desire.
By spending twenty minutes each day or so, you can have the life you desire. You can feel confident, successful, see your dreams come alive and hear the cheers of congratulations inside your head as you accomplish what you have always wanted.
The magic of guided creative visualisations are the hidden secret to manifesting your inner dreams and desires.
I need to De-Stress
The day did not start well. It wasn't even noon yet but my head was already pounding. Not a healthy sign. But what to do? Several stressful situations were coming up one after the other. I knew my face was already pinched by lunchtime and I felt like screaming STOP! My blood pressure must have spiked then. It did not help that I was prescribed progesterone pills to induce menses because I had a condition. The menses was coming, no doubt, whether I wanted it or not.
I forgot to eat. Bad, bad, bad. Well, I finally had my pasta with pesto sauce around 2:30 p.m. I finished about 2 mugs of warm water. By then I must have gone to the john four or five times. Not good when you have your period and you need lots of fluids. Thankfully, the office was quiet for most of the time I was in a snit. And through simple breathing, relaxing and praying, I got over the stress little by little. I laughed some and that felt good.
I'm still stressed out, I know. I can feel it especially around my shoulder blades and my temples. I really need to de-stress soon. Until that time I can afford to go have a massage, it'll have to be breathing exercises for me. Aaa-uuhmmm...
I forgot to eat. Bad, bad, bad. Well, I finally had my pasta with pesto sauce around 2:30 p.m. I finished about 2 mugs of warm water. By then I must have gone to the john four or five times. Not good when you have your period and you need lots of fluids. Thankfully, the office was quiet for most of the time I was in a snit. And through simple breathing, relaxing and praying, I got over the stress little by little. I laughed some and that felt good.
I'm still stressed out, I know. I can feel it especially around my shoulder blades and my temples. I really need to de-stress soon. Until that time I can afford to go have a massage, it'll have to be breathing exercises for me. Aaa-uuhmmm...
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